Dave Waldon, who has won the 55-Word Writing Contest twice, writes 55ers all year long. Every year he submits dozens.
Some are so good it would be a shame not to share them. Especially since a couple, “Tomorrow’s Forecast” and “Trending,” were contest finalists, along with “No Bullpen,” which ran in the paper.
Dad to Mom: “We Won It!”
City free-throw championship
Stockton Jr. High
5th grade 1966
Best out of 25
One shot down … two to go
Palms sweaty … gym’s gotten hot
First shot hits the front of the rim
And … rolls in! … I’m tied, at least
I look at Dad … can still see him yet
That second shot … nothin’ but net!
Prostrate Disposition
If pain is giving
I gave
If love is living
I’m saved
If life is sacrifice
Take me
If this is but a dream
Shake me
Can yesterday nourish a man?
Can tomorrow decree a plan?
If I’m clay to be molded
Make me
If the book’s to be folded
“Wake” me
Loved ones all …
Tomorrow’s Forecast
And the rain fell
647,000 droplets of life
Birds bathed, bees hid
Some scaled the arc of a rainbow
Others were cast adrift in puddles of anguish
Whilst thirsty roots … shriveled, ill-located
Vied desperately with the patrician tubers
The struggle between salvation and sumptuous
Raging everlasting, yet
Into each life …
And the rain fell
Trending
News flash: Heidi Harlot and Sasha Strumpet
Exchanged testy words (and hair pulling),
On the set of ICU’s reality hit “The Tramps
Of Bakersfield,” insiders reported Wednesday.
Heidi stormed off the set leaving a disheveled
Sasha to comment, “Bitch ruined my do!”
Meanwhile in other news, Scientists have confirmed
They cannot locate the North Pole.
We got the Knack…Jack
More oil!…gums smacking
The addict…still whacking
More freeways…we’re lacking!
The junkie…still cracking
More gas!…start fracking
The earth…begins cracking
More trucks…smoke stacking
Rail lines…sent packing
More power…coal blacking
Your lungs…start hacking
More cars…asphalt tracking
Crude dudes…seen cackling
Our little monkey
He’s got our backing
He was a King … Once
He was a cockroach
I liked him
He had three roachettes
On the side
Over crumbs and coffee we talked
He wanted to get married
Like me
I said I’d help
I flattened the unflattered
With my flip-flop
He and his bride moved out
Last I heard they were
Stuck in a cheap motel
No Need to Wind
Forever moving … annular, supertemporal
A thread … leading to vastitude
Yet measured, with twelve numbers
Royal figures … accompanied by “seconds”
A Quartz Emperor … an electrical Monarch
Shadowing hands … painting all horizons
From first breath … to last gasp
Calculated to the infinitesimal
When your countdown ends, cannot be answered
For “time” is creation … unsullied, unbroken
Dark … light
Pan-Rand-led
Emaciated…Disheveled
Desperate…Bedeviled
“Homeless”…the sign said
“Will work for food”
“Faceless”…better off dead
Many Americans…attitude
I gave two dollars
He mumbled, “God Bless You”
BMW behind me…”Lady” muttered
“God D— You”
He was sick…I hoped… it wasn’t too late
As she passed… middle finger
And a “Me”…license plate
Red Skelton’s Dead
“Special News Break:
Twenty school kids are
Murdered in Connecticut shooting.”
Junior, oblivious, swilling a Rockstar
Quickly switches over to “Mortal Kombat.”
Sissy, as typical, innocuously absorbed,
Tests, “blu Nails r 2 cool!”
Dad, floundering nine beers adrift,
Belches, laughs, belches again.
Mom, bellows from the kitchen,
“Pizza’s here!”
A pink Xanax
Between manicured fingers.
The Inevitability of Declining Parameters
My world grows smaller
The clock sports legs…not hands
Kinetoscope images reflect off my corneas
Summer stars imitate flashbulbs
Jack-O-Lantern’s out of matches
Winter and Spring are having an illicit affair
Yesterday’s sunrise bleeds into today’s sunset
R.S.V.P.’s morph to R.I.P.’s
And my shadow has just informed me
Running…will prove ineffectual
Three Car Garage
Johnny was shown the door
Johnny would soon be poor
Johnny stood in long lines
Johnny had committed no crimes
Johnny was now looked on as trash
Johnny was flush out of cash
Johnny made use of a gun
Johnny is now in prison
Johnny once saluted the flag
Johnny now calls it a rag
Publicity Stent
Krispy Kreme is back in biz
Your EKG now reads, “Gee whiz!”
Infused with sugar, some with jelly
Concocted especially for the American belly
Clogging arteries with confectionery flour
A donut sure has awesome power!
Healthy eating, Nah! That’s only for whiners
Head on to the Drive-Thru,
Get a box o’ “flat liners”
