Bon appétit (not!)

Like some people who watch hockey mostly for the fights or those who watch motorsports for the crashes, it’s possible that at least some people watch competitive eating for the gross-out factor.

While categorizing competitive eating as a “sport” is debatable, there’s no denying it can be pretty disgusting to watch.

Case in point is the annual deep-fried-asparagus eating contest at the annual Asparagus Festival in Stockton. The standard technique that the top “eaters” use is grabbing a fistful of asparagus then breaking them in half with both hands and then ramming them forcefully into their mouths, vigorously chewing all the way.

I don’t know what it’s like for the contestants, but watching them can be downright stomach-turning. The lesson that your mom taught you of chewing with your mouth closed does not apply here. The chewing is so fast and furious that little bits of food can either fly off into the air or get stuck to their faces. Their food-stuffed maws get stretched and distended giving them a vaguely chimpanzee-like look. The whole scene not only can put one off from not only eating asparagus but eating at all.

Top eating competitor Patrick Bertoletti, who holds a number of eating records, goes one better than his opponents on the gross scale. Each competitor gets a number of cups of water to help wash down their mouthfuls of asparagus. Bertoletti adds a red mix to each cup. As the 10-minute contest wears on, his hands and lips become stained with the red stuff. Soon it runs down in long bloody drips down to his elbows. By the contest’s end Bertoletti, who’s already distinctive with his spiked Mohawk hairstyle, looks like a vampire who’s just finished a feeding frenzy.

As long as I’ve covered the contest Bertoletti has always been an also-ran the competition coming in second to world-record holder Joey Chestnut. This year he came in third behind Chestnut and the diminutive Matt Stonie, who was second. But as far as the gross-out factor is concerned, Bertoletti has to be No. 1.

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Fisheyes

“Fish heads fish heads
Roly poly fish heads.
Fish heads fish heads
eat them up, yum!” –Fish Heads by Bill Mumy and Robert Haimer

Fisheye lenses are a bit in their limited use. While they provide a very wide angle of view (at least 180 degrees) and almost unlimited depth of field there’s a price to pay in the distortion that the extreme wide angle causes. They’re not fit for portraiture or architecture unless you want to make your subjects look strange and misshapened.

The most common are the full-frame fisheyes. The angle the lens views is 180 degrees measured from one corner to the opposite corner, such as the Nikkor 16mm and Canon’s 15mm. Then there are other fisheyes that encompass the entire view of the lens. This results in a round image on the sensor or film frame. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s an effect that’s certainly eye-catching. I’m just not sure it’s worth buying a whole lens just for that purpose.

The Grays of Westminster camera store in London, which deals exclusively in Nikon equipment, has announced the sale of a vintage 1972 Nikkor 6mm f/2.8 fisheye lens. Weighing in about 11.7 pounds, the thing is huge (by comparison Nikon’s top of the line D3 camera, which is only about 2-1/2 pounds). Its pie tin-sized front element measures about 9.3 inches in diameter. The lens’ angle of view is more than the fisheye standard of 180 degrees. It’s 220 degrees, which means it can actually see slightly behind itself.

I recently had an assignment at the Salvation Army’s facility in Lodi. On the ceiling of the tight foyer was one of those round extremely wide-angle safely mirrors to keep people from bumping into each other around blind corners. I got directly under it and shot straight up for a self-portrait.

The Nikon 6 mm lens was sold for the tidy sum of about $160,000 (!). I know it was a mirror and not a true fisheye lens, but the effect was like one with the wide field of view, the distorted lines and even the circular, marble-like format and it didn’t cost me a dime.

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Pressing matters


When I started at the Record in 1984, the printing press we used was an old Goss Headliner Letter Press. When it was retired in 2005 it was one of only a handful of its kind in the country still in use.

Letter press is old technology that harkens back to when type was set by hand. The plates have words and images that are raised from the surface. If you run your hand over one, you can actually feel the letters and dots that make up the pictures. Ink is run over the raised parts and then transferred to paper. It’s the same idea of a wood block print, though more sophisticated.

Built in the 1950s, the old Goss was fine for black and white pictures but was never meant for color reproduction. The way color is rendered in newspapers is that the press is actually four presses in one. Each section of the press applies a different color of ink: cyan (blue), magenta, yellow and black. It’s also known as CMYK. So, in addition to the crudity of the letter press system, there is the problem of what’s known as registration. Each plate for each color has to align with the others, and if one or more is off even as little as a 1/16th of an inch, the registration can be thrown off and color pictures could look blurry. Our press guys did the best they could but the cantankerous old machine’s plates would he hard to align and sometimes shift while the press was running, and the photos would be out of registration (the joke around the newsroom was that we should send out 3-D glasses out with every paper).

In 2005 the new TKS Tower Offset Press was installed in a new building on the Record’s site and was a welcome change for the photographers on staff. Although offset presses have been around a long time, they are much newer than the old letter-press systems. It uses the same CMYK process, but the plates are smooth to the touch with no raised areas. They work on the principal of water and oil not mixing. Pictures and words are burned into a much thinner metal plate in a photographic process. The oil-based inks adhere to the image areas, while a thin sheath of water keeps the ink off of the non-image areas. This allows for more detailed and accurate images to be reproduced in the paper.

The TKS press was bright, shiny and new and meant there were very few registration problems. The pictures carried much finer detail and had a more faithful color rendition. It was a welcome change. We hit the ground running with it and, happily, never looked back.

The Goss has been sitting idle since 2005 in old pressroom at the back of the old building — out of sight, out of mind. Now it’s been sold for scrap and is being dismantled and hauled away.
Some may be wistful about seeing it go. After all, there have been a lot of great stories, big and small, that have been printed on it. But for photographers, whose images suffered at the hands of the ornery metal beast, it’s goodbye and good riddance.

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Walk like a man

“Carlo disappeared into the back room for a moment, then returned with an ordinary shoe box. He opened the lid and removed a hideous pair of black and white pumps. But these were not an ordinary pair of black and white pumps; both were left feet, one had a right angled turn with separate compartments that pointed the toes in impossible directions. The other shoe was six inches long and was curved inward like a rocking chair with a vise and razor blades to hold the foot in place.” – an excerpt from “Cruel Shoes” by Steve Martin

In general, the qualities that a man looks for in a pair of shoes are comfort and practicality. How a shoe looks tends to be secondary. Many women’s shoes, on the other hand, are made more for looks. While most women have at least one pair of sensible shoes, there are probably others in her closet that are designed more for fashion than for comfort. On April 21 a group of men found out what it’s like to walk in women’s shoes.

The Women’s Center of San Joaquin County held its 5th annual “Walk a Mile in Her Shoes” march, this time along the Miracle Mile in Stockton. The event is a fundraiser for the center, but also it’s held to raise awareness and to involve men in ending rape, sexual assault and gender violence.

There were many styles of shoes to choose from, and many men looked for the flattest shoes possible. But there were also quite a few who gravitated toward red pumps with about 3” heels.

When the march started down the course, a loop down from Tuxedo Avenue to Castle Avenue to Harding Way and then back up to Tuxedo, everyone was enthusiastic and raring to go. At about the halfway point, I asked John Thorpe and Stephen Maney how they were holding up. Thorpe, who was wearing knee-high silver platform disco boots, said that he was doing OK, but he wouldn’t want to wear them every day. Maney, who opted for a pair of the red pumps and was stepping gingerly, could only say: “I’m dying!”

Not too far behind Thorpe and Maney, Sahil Kumar, also wearing the red pumps, was lagging near the rear of the pack. He was clearly having trouble. Weaving like a drunken sailor, Kumar’s ankles gave way and he tripped and stumbled with nearly every step. I don’t know how he managed to say upright, but he did. He reminded me of the old Playskool tagline: ”Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down.” Great cries of “whoa” and “ooh” went out from the few people behind Kumar each time he would stumble and nearly fall, and then cheers immediately afterward when he managed to catch himself and recover. He completed the mile safe and sound, though I bet his ankles probably thanked him when he finally took off the shoes.

There are macho terms of “Be a man” and “man up,” meaning to be tough, to take pain or adversity. Sahil Kumar proved that even in 3-inch red pumps, he could still walk like a man.

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Close to you

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amoré” – That’s Amoré by Harry Warren and Jack Brooks

Look up in the sky, it’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s supermoon! While it may not be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, tonight’s full moon is known as a supermoon, also called perigee-syzygy in astronomical terms. Because of its slightly elliptical orbit our natural satellite will be at its closest point to earth and coinciding with a complete full moon at about 11:35 p.m. Eastern Daylight Time (which makes it around 8:35 p.m. here). It should appear up to 14 percent bigger and 30 percent brighter than an average moon.

If you want a close shot of the moon a telephoto lens is a must. The minimum length should be around a 300mm to 400mm lens. Even then it will only fill up about 20 percent of the frame. Most photo editing programs will allow you to crop in tight and enlarge the image. If you have the wherewithal to buy a big really lens, a 600mm to 800mm with an extender would be optimum. Of course, if you have a telescope with camera mount (or know someone who does) all the better.

You may think that the exposure for a full moon would require a long time-exposure due to the surrounding darkness. But the light falling on the moon is about the same as a bright sunny day here on Earth. The best bet is to set your camera on manual (automatic settings will be probably fooled by the big dark sky) and for an exposure for sunshine depending upon the ISO you’re using (for example: at ISO 200 try 1/500th of a second at around f/11 or f/8). Atmospheric conditions (clouds, smog) may cut down on the exposure, but you can just shoot and then chimp (review the monitor) the picture and adjust your settings accordingly.

Fortunately the forecast calls for breezy but clear skies. To get a good look at the supermoon all you have to do is go outside and look up, up and away.

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Blast from the Past: The Godfather of Soul

Today is James Brown’s birthday. In November 17, 2005, I photographed Brown in an appearance at what was then the Fox Theatre (now the Bob Hope Theatre) in downtown Stockton. It was one of his last performances before he died a little more than a year later on December 25, 2006.

 

After an announcer’s customary over-the-top introduction, Brown came on stage in a blazing hot-pink tuxedo. At 72, he was far from his prime but backed by a tight, groovin’ big band, Brown rocked the house. And James Brown songs are all about the groove. They’re famous for a strong danceable beat and a head-bobbing, body-swaying bass line. And Brown, with his well-disciplined band (also dressed in hot pink), didn’t disappoint.

Age had only added to his gutturally gruff voice, which was true to form. He even managed to perform his patented shuffle and slide but didn’t do the splits. At his age, I don’t think any one in the audience really expected him to. They were just happy to be in the presence of a Soul legend and wanted to groove to the beat.

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April outtakes

“April hath put a spirit of youth in everything” – William Shakespeare

April had a little bit of everything: Events, sports, even a shower or two. Here are 10 favorite outtakes from April:

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4/14/12:

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4/15/12:

 

 

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4/19/12:

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4/21/12:

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4/22/12:

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4/25/12:

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4/29/12:

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4/30/12:

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Twister!

My wife has relatives in Alabama who, on more than one occasion, have told her that they wouldn’t want to move to California because of all the earthquakes we get here. They say: “We don’t know how y’all can live out there.”

I’ve felt only two earthquakes in my lifetime. The first when I was about 14 or so. I was at a family New Year’s Day celebration at my uncle’s house in Irvine in Southern California. I was lying on a couch watching some morning college football games as my parents and aunts and uncles were playing a hand in an all-night poker game (something of a family tradition). Then, suddenly, the couch began to gently shake as if a train roared by outside, but without the noise. It lasted only a few seconds, and then it stopped. It wasn’t until they finished the hand that one of my uncles said: “Hey, was that an earthquake?”

The second time was the Loma Prieta earthquake in 1989. I was just pulling up to an assignment in my car when I felt a jolt, which I attributed to my meager parking skills. I didn’t think it was a tremor until the subject of my assignment asked me if I felt the quake.

That’s two earthquakes that I’ve felt in 53 years of my life. The Midwest and the South have tornadoes. Every year there are whole seasons when the twisters appear to cause injuries and deaths and tremendous amounts of property damage.

On April 11, San Joaquin County experienced a very unusual occurance for this part of the country: a tornado. It touched down at a small, fairly isolated farm on Howard Road near Roberts Road near French Camp. The twister approached from the southwest and tipped an empty box-type semi trailer onto its side. Even empty the trailer weighs several tons.

The tornado then moved on to a 50-foot by 50-foot workshop, which it obliterated. It moved on to a fallow field and scattered the debris over an area about the size of a soccer pitch. Abel Cardona was helping Valentine Gutierrez, who lives on the farm, fix a bathroom sink. He said that they heard a rush of wind and then some crackling, like from electrical lines to a nearby power pole. They ran to a window and saw the workshop lift off the ground and then explode into a million pieces. The west wall of the building was the only thing left that looked like a building. Still, it was bent and beaten and leaned against a Mazda pickup and a semi tractor that were parked next to it.

What was amazing to see was how random and selective the tornado was. Another semi trailer about 10 feet away from the one that was blown over was untouched. The twister passed up a parked car before attacking the workshop.

About 30 yards to the southeast of the workshop stood a simple pole barn, sort of a roof on tall posts with no sides. You’d think that something like that would be blown over easily, yet it was untouched.

Some 20 yards to the west, a barn with some farm animals inside also escaped damage. A small outbuilding to the north of the workshop by a few feet suffered damage to some of its tile roof but was otherwise unscathed. The farmhouse, about 40 yards to the north, was undamaged as well, but debris from the workshop was deposited in the field about 20 to 40 yards to the east. One piece of metal siding impaled itself on a wooden utility pole about 20 feet from the ground. Another was draped over a phone line about 100 yards to the north along Howard Road.

Even within the workshop itself the damage was selective. A newly painted 1971 Chevrolet Caprice and a boat were parked in the shed when the twister hit. At first glance they looked be untouched, but upon closer examination a slash-like dent adorned the car’s nose, and its body carried numerous scratches. The boat suffered a broken window and bore the weight of several wooden beams across its stern.

Various tools and appliances, such as a gas-powered leaf blower, lay strewn about the concrete footprint of the workshop. A rectangular folding table stood intact. A case of Coronas lay beneath it with some of the bottles smashed. Another case sat atop the table untouched.

There are twisters that touch down in other parts of the country powerful enough to obliterate whole neighborhoods. The French Camp storm was only a category F1, the second-weakest level on the Fujita scale with winds ranging from 86 to110 mph. (The scale goes from F0, with wind speeds from 40 to 72 mph, up to F5, with wind speeds from 261 to 381mph).

Every part of the country has its potential disasters, from floods to wildfires to mudslides. We all make choices on where to live. In California, we’re used to the occasional earthquake, and we’ve prepared for them. Given how much damage just one small whirlwind did here in San Joaquin County, the Midwest and the South can keep their tornadoes.

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Not on a roll

Also during the Pacific/UC Santa Barbara baseball game a high pop foul ball was hit to the first-base bleachers. It reached the apex of its tall arc and came down onto the vinyl shade covering of one of the VIP “suites.” The coverings are slanted similarly to a roof on a house, so everyone assumed that the ball would simply roll off and fall to the ground. But it surprised us all when it came down with a dull thud and stayed in the spot where it landed, with nary a slide, bounce or roll. It was as if the covering was made of adhesive tape or coated in glue.

There is the engineering term of critical angle of repose. It refers to the maximum angle that granular material can be deposited in a conical pile before it starts sloughing off. Different materials have different angles due to how much friction they generate. That particular baseball wasn’t magically defying gravity but must have had a pretty high coefficient of friction and steep angle of repose.

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If I had a hammer

During a recent University of the Pacific baseball game against U.C. Santa Barbara I noticed Pacific player Brett Christopher in the dugout wielding a sledge hammer. He wasn’t swinging it, just rested it over his left shoulder. I guess it was used as a training bat, its heavier weight used to build up strength. Or perhaps with the new Marvel Avengers movie coming out soon (May 4), it was Christopher’s homage to the thunder god Thor. Either way the Tigers lost to the Gauchos 6-2, so next time maybe they need to use a bigger hammer.

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    Clifford Oto

    Clifford Oto, an award-winning photographer, has been with The Record since 1984. Through the changes from black and white to digital photography, he’s kept his focus on covering the events, people and life of San Joaquin county. This blog deals ... Read Full
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