I scream

Parenting already has its challenges, such as when your kid wants something that you don’t want them to have, and it doesn’t help that the odds always seem to be against you.

For example: You don’t want your kid to eat a bunch of junk food. That’s being a good parent by sticking to that goal as much as possible, right? What doesn’t help:

1. Grandparents, aka my mother, “Oh, she can have a little candy before dinner.” WTH! When I was kid, a candy bar was maybe a four-time-a-year thing. Christmas. Valentine’s Day. Easter. Halloween. Yep, that’s about it. And you got cake and ice cream for your birthday. The kid is looking at her like she’s amazing. Thanks a lot, MOTHER!

2. Grocery stores. You’re trying to get the cart that’s already full of kids filled with whatever you need and to get out of that store as quickly as possible. You never know when you’ll hear “bathroom” – of course they already went at home, but they somehow manage to need to pee right after you loaded the cart with your cold items. Plus, it’s bad enough to try to keep the dang squirmers in the cart or near the cart without having to give the evil look. You finally make it to the checkout, the final and most annoying hurdle because that’s where the candy is. Not just a few, it’s the whole freakin’ Wonka factory on each stand. Candy that glows, candies in the shape of popular characters, gum, ring-shaped ones, and some even have cookies, chips and soda.

3. AND, this one is the lowest of the low to me right now: The ice cream man – or one in particular. My daughter and I had already had a couple of treats during the day and it was near dinner time when we went out to the front yard to feed our cats. There he was slowly moving toward our home.

It was too late to pull her back into the house. The jingle had already wormed its way into her mind and cracked out her eyes. “Ice cream!” She pointed and shouted. Then started to run toward the sidewalk to greet the large blue truck.

“We had a treat already today, honey. We can get an ice cream tomorrow.”

The driver of the truck saw me. Our eyes met. I gave him a head shake and put up my hand to politely let him know we were not interested in his evil, sugary wares. That was that. Or so I thought.

My daughter was about to come into the house until she noticed he was still there and then, he began waving at her.

“Mommy, ice cream,” she squealed and giggled, getting pumped up even more than before.

I couldn’t believe it. The guy was just sitting there. In front of my house! I thought, “OK, maybe he mistakenly thought I wanted to make a purchase.”

I shooed at him.

He didn’t move and the jingling music seemed as loud as ever. That’s when Mommyzilla came out.

“Get out of here!” I yelled angrily, at least twice, and shooed at him more vigorously, my eyebrows furrowed ferociously. He got the point, because homeboy took off after that.

Yeah, that’s right, buddy.

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  • Blog Author

    Christine Teldeschi

    Christine Teldeschi is editor of the LENS section and the TimeOut tab of The Record. She and her husband are raising their two children in Stockton with a live, love and lots of laughs approach to parenting. Read Full
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