So, two weeks ago, I took a pretty embarrassing tumble on California Street while walking to work. Who put that sidewalk there? It all happened in slow motion, but it seemed like I had stubbed my left foot on an uneven piece of concrete, then landed on my left knee. Then, I put my left hand out to brace myself but didn’t quite do that, and just let gravity take me down as I rolled onto the ground onto my left side.
My pregnant belly must have weighed me down. Whatever, it was pathetic. I was like a fallen turtle.
A woman in a car at the light nearby saw me and shouted in a panic, “Are you alright?”
As I gracefully emerged from the sidewalk, careful to make sure my dress hadn’t exposed all my business to everyone in Stockton, I forced a smile and waved to her.
“Yes, I’m OK. Thank you.” She looked shocked, like maybe she didn’t believe me.
She shouldn’t have.
Truth is, I was lying. My knee was bleeding all over the place and as I started to walk, I had a pimp limp. That may have looked cool on the outside, but I was in agony on the inside. I picked a few pebbles out of my hand. My wedding ring got grinded on one side and the metal was sharp. I was completely embarrassed more than anything.
My lunch and water had spilled into the gutter. I just picked up my things and started to move along. Nothing to see here, folks.
But I still had about a mile to go. I called a friend and coworker, Tara Cuslidge, to come pick me up.
I kept walking just to get as far away from the scene of the fall, and the people staring, as quickly as possible. The mental health hospital was nearby. Maybe they thought I was going there.
Tara arrived and I felt relieved when I climbed into her passenger seat and we set off for work. She took a sort of long way around, but I didn’t question. Then she told me that right before she picked me up she had pulled over nearby because she had seen me walking and yelled at me to get in the car. It wasn’t me. It was some other random pregnant chick walking the streets of Stockton. The woman was mortified. Tara sheepishly drove off.
That made me laugh so hard that I forgot about my pain for a bit. I wasn’t the only one embarrassing myself today.
(FYI, I checked in with my doctor after I got to work to tell him of my fall and to see if I should be worried about my son. Everything is fine, though I am sure he had a wild ride in my uterus.)
(And, if you are the pregnant woman Tara scared on California Street, she is sorry.)