We went, we ate, we survived

I met the diet enemy over the weekend and its name is Double Down.

By now, you know what I’m talking about. KFC’s no-bread chicken-wich with special sauce, bacon and cheese in between two patties – fried or grilled – to your liking.

It stares at you from inside a little box, peaking its ugly head out when you open it. The only protection you have from its hot surface – outside of a warning – is a thin wrapper. It’s a horrifying prospect to someone like myself who’s been on a diet for the last four months and lost nearly 25 pounds.

But it beckoned me. It teased me in commercials and in newspaper inserts. I had to have one.

Copy editor Genette Brookshire indulged me in my fantasy, offering to not only come along on my trip to KFC last weekend, but to test out the Double Down herself. She ordered the grilled version. I opted for “original.”

We purchased the calorie-ridden sandwiches. The fried has 540. The grilled has 460. Both are loaded with sodium. But we were brave. (Or we just didn’t care that these edible delights were jam-packed with all that’s bad for us . Looking back, we might have gone a little insane.)

We brought them back to the newsroom last Saturday, split them in half and started eating. Approximately five minutes in, Genette stared at me and asked a question.

“Am I turning red too?” she wondered.

“A little. Why? Am I red?” I answered.

“You’re really red,” she countered.

We continued eating.

“Are you getting hot?” Genette asked.

“Yeah,” I responded.

Maybe it was the chicken deliciousness running through our veins. Maybe it was the mix of cheese bacon and special sauce, but we were down for the count a little more than half-way through. Most of the Saturday newsroom staff just shook their heads as we continued forward, eating every last bite. (Though Genette’s grilled version had far less cheese and bacon than mine only because it slid off her sandwich and was permanently stuck in the wrapper.)

And no, we didn’t have any Homer Simpson’s Chili-cook-off induced delusions, like this:

But we did feel a little too full the rest of our shifts. The mere fact we survived the experience and the ridicule that came with telling coworkers, friends and family members that we conquered the Double Down and lived to tell the tale doesn’t mean we’ll be venturing to our local KFC again anytime soon.

We do give it a thumbs up, though, for filling us up.

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